CVID and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

CVID AND COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY

Using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to Deal with My Emotions

I often have emotions that I don’t know what to do with.

Numerous emotions. All at the same time.

I’m an adult and I’m supposed to know how to deal, right?

But this is all new to me. The old me (my 20 & 30 something self pre-illness and pre-diagnosis) didn’t deal with emotions.

I was taught not to.

I remember my grandfather telling me after I gave my grandmother’s eulogy at her funeral service that I was going to have to learn to control my emotions. (WHAT?!!!!) Yes, I admit it, I cried and totally lost it while speaking. Isn’t that normal? (To explain, he was an old German white male who was very controlling and opinionated.)

So, after that I tried to do what I was told. I denied my emotions. All of them. The joyous ones, the happy ones, the sad ones…ALL OF THEM.

Well, a fine fix that got me into. Now, when it seems like everything in my life concerning my health is going to hell in a handbasket, I’m an emotional wreck.

I also don’t like to burden my friends with my emotions. I mean they have stuff going on too and unloading on them sounds like whining to me.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

So, I’ve been researching the possible beneficial relationship between CVID and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

The shitty part is after my CVID diagnosis in October 2017, I thought I was ok. I haven’t been great but I thought I was dealing.

Then, I found out my younger son Jace (9) has Subclass IgG Disorder, my older son Jack (13) has full blown CVID, I have basal cell carcinoma, and there were some irregularities on my right breast mammogram that have to be reviewed and possibly looked at via ultrasound.

My reaction-I had a total break down in my appointment with Dr. K (my immunologist). In front of Jack. In front of the nurses. In front of Dr. K’s scribe.

Embarrassing.

To Dr. K’s credit he talked me down. He’s big on me living a good life-the best life I possibly can. He makes me promise him to live happy. I’m trying, but you see why it’s hard for me right? (I totally know I’m whining here ok!)

So, back to CVID and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

Apparently, there are thoughts called scripts in my head that aren’t the thoughts of my authentic self at all. They are thoughts I adopted to survive in an alcoholic household i.e. “just stuff down those emotions Susan Alynne because I don’t want to cause any more trouble for my parents marriage-just tiptoe quietly;” thoughts I heard and adopted from the most important people in my life i.e. “you’re fat Susan Alynne and you can’t feel good or look good fat especially as a dancer;” thoughts I made up myself i.e. “I’m never going to be good enough but I’ll die trying.”

CBT Defined

Here’s an excellent read on CBT and the false or incorrect thinking patterns I have via The Positive Psychology website.

Did you read it? Do you get it? Is anyone else like this or is it just me? I honestly don’t know.

I recently learned I can STOP these thoughts. Here’s what Michael Wells, Life Coach and Co-Founder at the Brojo writes on Quora:

  1. Recognize when these thoughts happen. Often, at the moment when you feel compelled to do something self-destructive. This takes practice, you’ll get better at it.
  2. STOP, and realize that they are just thoughts. At first, the self-destructive reactions feel automatic- they aren’t, you do have total control. Just like seeing a TV commercial does not make you need to buy something, having a thought does not make you need to do something.
  3. Acknowledge that they are not your thoughts. Say it out loud if it helps, “That’s not my thought…”

Over time, you’ll start to notice that the same voices say the same things, and you’ll know who is speaking in your head. Soon, those voices may get names of people you know (sometimes more than one!).

So, I’ve been practicing self-destructive behavior. Yeah for me! Way to go!  No wonder I can’t “adult” most days. These thoughts are totally debilitating.

I’m going to try CBT though. Maybe I’ll even be able to find a therapist who specializes in CBT with chronically ill people like me.

I’ll start with self-acceptance, well at least in regards to CVID.

I am a Zebra.

I also love two little Zebras.

I also know all three of us Zebras have people out there that love us too.

Thank God for that.

Stay strong my Zebra friends.

Using cbt to cope with cvid

41 thoughts on “CVID and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy”

  1. What’s Happening i’m new to this, I stumbled upon this I’ve discovered
    It positively helpful and it has aided me out
    loads. I hope to give a contribution & assist different customers like its aided me.
    Great job.

  2. Hello! I could have sworn I’ve visited this web site
    before but after browsing through a few of the articles I realized it’s new
    to me. Anyhow, I’m certainly happy I discovered it and I’ll be book-marking
    it and checking back regularly!

    1. Yes, you are absolutely correct. The practice and use of CBT is an ongoing practice for me and you will probably read me fail at it over and over again on this site. I have good days with it and bad days. I guess it’s like anything else in life! It’s worth the work though!

    1. Great! I’ve got several new posts coming out soon that he can check out when he does visit! Thank you for referring my site to your little brother and please, either of you feel free to write me anytime!

    1. Oh good! I’ve got a post coming out this week about my recent CVID-related issues (I know, I know…can’t wait can ya!) so hopefully you’ll be able to check that out! Write anytime! Thank you!

  3. Hello there! This is my first comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout
    out and tell you I really enjoy reading through your blog posts.
    Can you suggest any other blogs/websites/forums that go over the same subjects?
    Thanks!

  4. I was suggested this blog by my cousin. I am not sure whether
    this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my
    problem. You’re wonderful! Thanks!

    1. Your comment really made me pause for a moment…one of the reasons I started this site is to bring people suffering most likely in silence, feeling lonely and isolated, together. We feel alone, but what’s ironic is that there are others out there that feel the same way and just talking could bring relief. Thank you for visiting and please write me anytime!

  5. I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was
    great. I don’t know who you are but certainly you are going to a famous blogger if you aren’t already ;
    ) Cheers!

  6. I’m really loving the theme/design of your web site. Do you ever run into any internet browser compatibility problems?

    A small number of my blog audience have complained about my website not
    working correctly in Explorer but looks great in Opera.
    Do you have any ideas to help fix this problem?

    1. Hi! Apparently, yes! LOL! I write that because I’ve had a few emails…1) words were running off of the page when opened in Safari; 2) my site was loading slow but the writer did not indicate which browser they were using. I did check #1 on Safari on several different computers (friends’ and family members’) and it looked fine. I think it’s really hard to prevent any problems ever! That’s impossible! My theme is a free theme on WordPress that I just love called Savona. I did have to set it up a certain way to get it to look the way it does but I’d be happy to share that with you if you want to email me directly at susanalynne@cvidiva.com! Thank you for checking out my site!

  7. Thank you for some other wonderful post. Where
    else could anybody get that kind of info in such an ideal way
    of writing? I’ve a presentation next week, and
    I’m at the look for such info.

    1. I’m so excited you are able to use some info from this post for your presentation! I know it’s been a while (I’ve been CVID-sick), but how did the presentation go? Please write anytime!

  8. Great post. I was checking continuously this blog and I
    am impressed! Very helpful information specially the
    last part 🙂 I care for such info a lot. I was looking for this
    certain info for a long time. Thank you and good luck.

  9. Nice post. I used to be checking continuously this weblog and I am inspired! Extremely helpful information specially the ultimate phase 🙂 I maintain such information much. I used to be looking for this certain info for a long time. Thank you and best of luck.

    1. That’s super! Thank you so much! I apologize for just now responding but this CVID has had me “out of service” for a while. I’ll be posting about it this week-yippee! Write anytime! Take care!

  10. Hi,
    I have a daughter and two grandsons showing their CVID symptoms at the ages of (9) and (13). Before knowing that my grandson’s had CVID, my first reaction to my daughter’s diagnosis of CVID was disbelief. I lived in denial. How had my beautiful, intelligent, talented (she once owned her own dance studio) daughter have a disease that exhibited such life threatening and debilitating symptoms that she had her whole life go undiagnosed for so long, by so many doctors for so many years? I am irate to say the least! In fact, irate does not even come close to how this mother’s reaction to her undiagnosed and untreated forty some odd years daughter can be discribed without bomb blasting the entire medical profession!!!

    1. I am so grateful you found the information on my site valuable! That means a lot to me! You see, I have very limited energy due to CVID and it took me a long time to get even just this far with this blog, so thank you for your uplifting comment. Please write anytime! (ps-I’ve been “out of service” because of CVID lately but will be telling all about it in a post this week!)

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

shares